Annika Sehn
Globalization, relationships with western countries and the increasing migration are big issues in the political arena in Turkey nowadays. A term which comes along with it is the marriage migration. On the one hand the world grows closer, which means more people who work or travel abroad, get in contact with the inhabitants of the countries where they work and live and naturally some fall in love with the locals.
On the other hand the gap between the poor and the rich widens, especially the difference between poor and rich countries, which is the breeding ground for arranged marriages to get a working permission or to legalize slave trade. But apart from these rather serious problems, a bi-national marriage can be the only solution for couples to stay together, where borders and visa registrations would otherwise make it impossible. Sarah Horton, who recently married her Turkish boyfriend, gives this rather complicated question a face.
“Of course I’m also scared, it could change my whole life, it could also ruin it,” she admits referring to her recent marriage, “but, I guess, it lies in the nature of intercontinental romance.” Sarah got to know her boyfriend, who became her husband lately, during an exchange program, which she did at the end of high school. Since then, they’ve been a couple, even though most of the time they had to cope with the long distance between them; namely the distance between the United States and Turkey.
When Sarah came back to study in Istanbul another year in autumn 2009 they decided to marry. “We’ve been together for three years now, and I don’t feel it’s over yet. I hate to say that it was for the green card. But since I know that I don’t have the possibility to stay in Turkey for a long time it was necessary”, Sarah said about their decision. “Besides you also have a social advantage, because it’s still a stigma to live together as an unmarried couple. Now I can speak of him as my husband without lying.” According to her, the procedure to get married is relatively easy, but time consuming. “Just another example of Turkish bureaucracy,” Sarah shrugs, “You really need time and patience. It took me nearly three days to get the health report.” The health report – besides a certificate of celibacy, a notary certified translation of the passport, a residence document and six passport sized photos – is the most complicated form to be filled out. It is demanded, because certain sicknesses, such as epilepsy, hysteria, venereal and contagious diseases constitute a bar to marriage in Turkey. The thought of protection confronts with the reproach of discrimination against sick people and state intervention in the individual freedom. Such a report certainly has its reasons in a country where the sexuality is still tainted with taboos and sex education is insufficient. “The women are expected to be a virgin until their marriage in contrast to the men, whose promiscuity is generally accepted. Besides, there’s a weak health care system. From this point of view, I can understand the necessity of this procedure.”, Sarah thinks, “but then again its scary, that they know perhaps more than I do and can prevent my marriage, for reasons I can not influence.”
For Sarah and her husband everything worked out in the end. They took all the hurdles and finally got married. According to the Beyoğlu municipality, where their marriage got signed and sealed, they are not the only ones. They are one out of approximately 200 couples of mixed nationality within a year. “The foreigners come from mostly Moldova and Romania” is the surprising answer of one of the registrars.
To the question if a traditional Turkish wedding is planned, Sarah regrets: “Unfortunately, we didn’t have the possibility since both our parents and relatives are not present and you need a lot of money.” But she adds, smiling: “In fact, there’s no need to, because everything about our relationship is untraditional.” For her age of 20 years, Sarah married quite young, with little amount of belongings to call her own, getting in contact with a rather different culture. Fortunately her parents support her, although they have never met their son-in-law. “They knew about him, because they paid the phone bills and in the end they trusted my good judgment.”
The next challenge will be the application for the visa, which still contains some difficulties to tackle. The most risky one is probably the unlimited financial sponsorship, which she has to approve for her husband, if he’s coming to the U.S. “Then the government wants a proof of an ongoing relationship, which won’t be to easy to provide.” Sarah worries. For the tricky problem how to prove if it’s true love or not, the state found a sober solution. They want to see letters, E-mails, flight tickets, hotel checks or phone bills. Also properties, owned by both partners are considered as a proof of love.
Still, there’s another thing, which Sarah is worried about. “It’s about my last name. The form which I apply for keeping it, is to be filled out after the wedding, which makes me worried that something will go wrong in the end. Mainly I’m concerned about my bank accounts and identity cards.” And apart from that? “Well, his last name is Erdoğdu. In America there’s no soft g, so everybody will spell it like “dog du”. I wouldn’t mind too much about it, but, you know, kids are mean.”
